the 228 million dollar odd couple

Teammates!

What better week to come back to the world of blogging than this one, full of fantastic record summer signings for Los Blancos. The Galacti-dos era has gone off to a record-breaking start, first with news this Monday that Kaka was heading to Madrid and late breaking word last night that Cristiano Ronaldo would be following him there. In total, Real Madrid president Florentino Perez lightened his transfer purse by an astounding 228 million dollars in the course of four days, with no end in sight to the spending, as David Villa and others are expected to fill out the ranks in the coming days and weeks.

But I think the signing of these two players in particular cannot pass by without comment. In nabbing these two magnificent players, Madrid has set up quite an interesting situation. Both of these men have been regarded in recent times as the best in their craft: Kaka a master finisher (0:27) and distributor of the ball and Ronaldo a free kick wizard and stepover champion. Their on-the-field abilities aside, I am fascinated by the dynamic that the two of them bring to the squad.

One one hand, we have Kaka. I think Kaka goes to church more often than my old school, ultra-Catholic grandfather. After recovering from a very serious spinal cord injury at a young age, Kaka has devoted his life to Jesus (going so far as to wear an undershirt claiming as such during the Champions League final in 2007). Even his wife is as wholesome as WAGs get, not to mention pretty damn fine. Overall, I must say that Kaka seems like a genuinely wholesome dude, which is even more impressive considering the multitude of vices available to a world famous soccer player.

TCFW!

On the other, we have C. Ron. Much has been made of his ultra-metrosexual ways, his womanizing (maninzing?), his man tan, and general dandy-ness. It generally goes without saying that this dude is full of himself and then some. He has also been criticized for being rather petulant and whiny on the field and off, so I wouldn't be going out on a limb in labeling him soccer's #1 prima donna. Apparently he likes to cavort with other ill-regarded, pink-loving, gossip column fodder, proof coming from those fine people at TMZ. Basically, the man in both attitude and lifestyle is the exact opposite of Kaka.

Umm... words cannot describe.

So how will they get on? On the field, I can see magic happening. Off of the field... I can only hope Kaka will at least have some kind of influence on the wild child antics of Ronaldo. After all, one can only hook up with Paris Hilton so many times before becoming completely disabled by VDs.

what an embarrassment

Well, some postgame thoughts from the Real Madrid - Liverpool clash:

1. So much for the "Greatest Team of the XX Century." Yes, they certainly played like a team that peaked 9 or so years ago. Jesus fucking Christ, this was a terrible performance from my beloved Blancos. More nuanced analysis of the shitty play to come.

2. Iker Casillas is arguably the greatest keeper on the planet today. Saying that after a keeper is scored on 4 times in a game may seem surprising, but in reality without him Madrid would have been down 7 or so goals. He played out of his skin for the whole game, even when the result was far out of hand (just look at the Torres attempt just before he came off).

3. Juande Ramos is not the coach of the future for Madrid. This team has looked like absolute crap in two straight big games and I place the blame squarely on the coach. He simply has not gotten them up and ready for the big game. Yes, he has turned their form around in La Liga, but this team, with all of its talent and skill, should win those games on autopilot (or at least with a modicum of decent coaching). I will say it right here that I hope Real can win all of the games they can against La Liga competition beore tehy have to face off with Barcelona towards the end of the season, because they are sure to lose that game. In the best case scenario for Madrid, Liverpool fail to win the Champions League (I would bet on them) and the Premier League (I would not bet on them) and Rafa gets the sack. The new regime of Florentino Perez (I pray) would be smart enough to nab him up immediately.

3a. Rafa Benitez is one of the best Champions League managers of recent times. If Madrid were to get him, they could do to lose out on La Liga for a couple of years while their play in the Champions League would surely improve.

4. Is the Spanish game falling off compared to the English one? The English-speaking commentators on ESPN sure seemed to think so and I would be hard pressed to disagree. Madrid looked as if they were utterly baffled by the quick, physical play of Liverpool. While Madrid's game might suit them well in Spain, it looked absolutely awful against stiff English competition. Then again, with better coaching and preparation, Madrid might have had a better day of it.

5. Heinze needs to be shipped off to MLS immediately... what the fuck is this guy doing on my team? Although the handball in the penalty area was obviously a blown call, he was still not very inspiring or convincing in the back.


Well, that's all I can bear to speak on right now. I have to wash this disgusting feeling off of my person. Blegh.