04 October 2008
new color
the blog has a new color scheme... I like it for now, but I am unsure of how it will wear. Any thoughts?
30 September 2008
iphone blogging
I just figured out how blog from the silly bazilly iPhone. Obviously this is an inferior way of keeping up with the blog, but it's an intriguing option.
I'm also thinking about doing a color reformat of the site... any
thoughts from readers would be welcome.
29 September 2008
sweet caroline's
This weekend harbored a significant event in my FroRo life: my first night on the town in Winchester. Winchester is kind of a big deal around these parts, it plays the role of the "big city" in Northwestern Virginia (or the Valley as the natives call it) with a host of treats for the people who flock here from the hinterlands. The resplendent Apple Blossom Mall hosts many fine shops in its single story, the decadent downtown has a handful top flight bars and clubs, and Shenandoah University serves as a beacon of knowledge to all who dare gaze upon it. All in all, Winchester sure is the shit.
I happened to sample some of the night life of Winchester, the bar known as Sweet Caroline's (dun dun dun, like the song), for one of my coleagues' 29th birthday bonanza. I was the DD, so while the drinks were flowing for everyone else, I was there to make sure that everyone got home safe and without vomiting all over their nice going out clothes. Mind you that "everyone" and "their" refers to the group of twentysomething teachers I was with, who were all out to have a good time - to jam out with their clam out as one of them put it - at the club of clubs in downtown Winchester.
With such high expectations, I was sure that I was going to be let down by the reality of the place. And at first, I think I was. There wasn't much dancing going on, the average age of the people at the bar seemed to be about 56 (this number was skewed by the presence of a man we all agreed was over the age of 85) and the mood seemed to be a shade under subdued. But as the third and fourth drinks started to hit people's bloodstreams, and as the younger types filed in from their raucus pregames (no doubt fueled by the victory of local favorites Virginia Tech), the mood seemed to lighten overall and the real party got underway.
From this gathering, I learned three critical lessons:
1) If I ever get to the point where I am over 30 and trying to pick women up in a bar, I hope that my friends and family have the good sense and kindness of heart to put me down old Yeller style.
2) When a fiftysomething soulful black woman starts grinding up on you, all you can do is grind back. Its truly the only acceptable course of action. And when she reaches around for your junk? Well, you better hope that the previously mentioned grinding has had the appropriate (read: deflating) effect on the package. Otherwise you could be in for some trouble.
3) To be considered worth a second look by women at a Winchester bar, you must be wearing a hat. Preferably with a nascar number on it or the letters "VT". God help you if you are using it to cover up your baldness, though.
Those are the distilled facts garnered from my night on the town. I could provide more in the way of narrative, but I think that those points really highlight much of what I learned out there. I will be sure to post more findings once my research develops further.
I happened to sample some of the night life of Winchester, the bar known as Sweet Caroline's (dun dun dun, like the song), for one of my coleagues' 29th birthday bonanza. I was the DD, so while the drinks were flowing for everyone else, I was there to make sure that everyone got home safe and without vomiting all over their nice going out clothes. Mind you that "everyone" and "their" refers to the group of twentysomething teachers I was with, who were all out to have a good time - to jam out with their clam out as one of them put it - at the club of clubs in downtown Winchester.
With such high expectations, I was sure that I was going to be let down by the reality of the place. And at first, I think I was. There wasn't much dancing going on, the average age of the people at the bar seemed to be about 56 (this number was skewed by the presence of a man we all agreed was over the age of 85) and the mood seemed to be a shade under subdued. But as the third and fourth drinks started to hit people's bloodstreams, and as the younger types filed in from their raucus pregames (no doubt fueled by the victory of local favorites Virginia Tech), the mood seemed to lighten overall and the real party got underway.
From this gathering, I learned three critical lessons:
1) If I ever get to the point where I am over 30 and trying to pick women up in a bar, I hope that my friends and family have the good sense and kindness of heart to put me down old Yeller style.
2) When a fiftysomething soulful black woman starts grinding up on you, all you can do is grind back. Its truly the only acceptable course of action. And when she reaches around for your junk? Well, you better hope that the previously mentioned grinding has had the appropriate (read: deflating) effect on the package. Otherwise you could be in for some trouble.
3) To be considered worth a second look by women at a Winchester bar, you must be wearing a hat. Preferably with a nascar number on it or the letters "VT". God help you if you are using it to cover up your baldness, though.
Those are the distilled facts garnered from my night on the town. I could provide more in the way of narrative, but I think that those points really highlight much of what I learned out there. I will be sure to post more findings once my research develops further.
24 September 2008
recommended reading
Not a substantial post today, just a link to something very much worth reading.
Jonathan Chait for The New Republic on John McCain and his lying ways.
I have a lot to say about what is going on right now, but not too much time to say it. Maybe Friday, as tomorrow is off-limits due to the season premier of the Office.
Happy reading!
Jonathan Chait for The New Republic on John McCain and his lying ways.
I have a lot to say about what is going on right now, but not too much time to say it. Maybe Friday, as tomorrow is off-limits due to the season premier of the Office.
Happy reading!
20 September 2008
microsoft ads
Before I proceed:
:: BIAS DISCLAIMER ::
I have made clear my support of Apple before, but I do not write the following article from any perspective other than that of an amused observer of a foundering (and wildly expensive) ad campaign.
End disclaimer.
----------------------------
I was watching the last rerun of the Office Thursday night when I was treated to a true commercial masterpiece: the new Microsoft ads, herein referred to as the "I'm a PC" ads. They are so called because they feature an array of famous people proclaiming their status as PCs - presumably meaning that they are PC users and not horrifyingly realistic cyborgs created my Microsoft to brainwash us all... but I digress. The main thrust of this ad, from what I can tell, is to rebut the claim made by Apple in its "PC versus Mac" commercials that PCs aren't hip and cool, a claim made byt he juxtaposition between the cool (condescending?) Mac Guy (a reference to Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs) and the hapless, nerdy PC Guy (an obvious and apparently irksome reference to Microsoft founder Bill Gates).
This "I'm a PC" ad is just the latest in a series of ads trying to rebrand Microsoft as just as awesome as Apple... the only problem being that the entire campaign has been waged in a very Microsoft (and hence uncool and plodding) way. This $300 MILLION effort has fallen largely flat so far, and has been supremely entertaining to watch as a Mac fan, mainly because it has only served to reaffim my distaste for the Redmond crowd.
Set #1: The Mojave Experiment. These ads show the results of a "field test" that Microsoft ran with 140 participants in the aim of disproving the bad rap that Vista has had since its release two years ago. The premise is that these users were told they were running a new operating system called "Mojave" when in fact they were running a Vista on max-ed out systems (high end graphics cards, loads of RAM, etc). The result? These users LOVED the system (satisfaction rating of 8.5 versus a control rating of 4.4) and were SHOCKED when they were told they had been running Vista all along. The point? Apparently the only reason customers have been dissatisfied with Vista is THEIR OWN IGNORANCE!!!111 Microsoft would like customers to believe that their product isn't shitty and cumbersome to most of the computers that run it, but rather that the average user is gullible and has too readily bought into the CW about Vista (that it is shitty and cumbersome). WHAT A RELIEF! Sounds almost like Phill Gramm (perhaps the leading candidate for Donkey of the Decade) was behind these stinkers. Oh, and for those of you who forgot, he is the McCain advisor that earlier this summer said that this country was full of whiners and that the only recession we are going through is a "mental" one. Remind yourself of that when you are checking into your 401k, if it still exists.
Set #2: The Ads About Nothing. These ads, featuring Bill Gates and comic genius Jerry Seinfeld, were aimed at touting... no, demonstrating the capabil... no, hell I don't know what they were trying to show and I don't think most viewers could figure that out either. The two that have run so far (there is supposedly a third one out there, but it is not planned to hit airwaves) have featured Gates and Seinfeld in "real people" locations doing "real people" things. I guess the idea behind these ads was to demonstrate that, despite his billions, Gates still likes to save on shoes? These ads were truly Seinfeldian in the sense that they were about nothing, and really didn't try to sell the viewer anything. In that respect I think they were a success. Unfortunately for Microsoft, that was the only realm in which they succeeded. If I was anything like the average viewer, I got two things out of the ad: 1) a fresh look at some Seinfeld humor and 2) the chance to laugh at an aimless ad campaign from M$. Thanks, Billy boy, for keeping my homeboy Jerry rich (he was paid $10 mil for the spots) and me laughing at your company!
Set #3: The Aforementioned "I'm A PC" Ads. On the face of it, these ads may seem like they are doing the job they were intended to do (unlike the Seinfeld ones) and giving the viewer some credit (unlike the insulting Mojave ones). The problem with these ads, though? As Prince McLean puts it in his recent article:
I loled at you, Microsoft. Just stick with what you know and don't try to "be cool". Most people use you for uncool things at work and school, and thats ok. Just take your ~90% market share and be happy! You have your monopoly and most people would be content with that. So sit back, relax, and leave the commercials to the fine folks in Cupertino.
PS - Interestingly enough, the "I'm a PC" ads were apparently made on, you guessed it, a Mac!
:: BIAS DISCLAIMER ::
I have made clear my support of Apple before, but I do not write the following article from any perspective other than that of an amused observer of a foundering (and wildly expensive) ad campaign.
End disclaimer.
----------------------------
I was watching the last rerun of the Office Thursday night when I was treated to a true commercial masterpiece: the new Microsoft ads, herein referred to as the "I'm a PC" ads. They are so called because they feature an array of famous people proclaiming their status as PCs - presumably meaning that they are PC users and not horrifyingly realistic cyborgs created my Microsoft to brainwash us all... but I digress. The main thrust of this ad, from what I can tell, is to rebut the claim made by Apple in its "PC versus Mac" commercials that PCs aren't hip and cool, a claim made byt he juxtaposition between the cool (condescending?) Mac Guy (a reference to Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs) and the hapless, nerdy PC Guy (an obvious and apparently irksome reference to Microsoft founder Bill Gates).
This "I'm a PC" ad is just the latest in a series of ads trying to rebrand Microsoft as just as awesome as Apple... the only problem being that the entire campaign has been waged in a very Microsoft (and hence uncool and plodding) way. This $300 MILLION effort has fallen largely flat so far, and has been supremely entertaining to watch as a Mac fan, mainly because it has only served to reaffim my distaste for the Redmond crowd.
Set #1: The Mojave Experiment. These ads show the results of a "field test" that Microsoft ran with 140 participants in the aim of disproving the bad rap that Vista has had since its release two years ago. The premise is that these users were told they were running a new operating system called "Mojave" when in fact they were running a Vista on max-ed out systems (high end graphics cards, loads of RAM, etc). The result? These users LOVED the system (satisfaction rating of 8.5 versus a control rating of 4.4) and were SHOCKED when they were told they had been running Vista all along. The point? Apparently the only reason customers have been dissatisfied with Vista is THEIR OWN IGNORANCE!!!111 Microsoft would like customers to believe that their product isn't shitty and cumbersome to most of the computers that run it, but rather that the average user is gullible and has too readily bought into the CW about Vista (that it is shitty and cumbersome). WHAT A RELIEF! Sounds almost like Phill Gramm (perhaps the leading candidate for Donkey of the Decade) was behind these stinkers. Oh, and for those of you who forgot, he is the McCain advisor that earlier this summer said that this country was full of whiners and that the only recession we are going through is a "mental" one. Remind yourself of that when you are checking into your 401k, if it still exists.
Set #2: The Ads About Nothing. These ads, featuring Bill Gates and comic genius Jerry Seinfeld, were aimed at touting... no, demonstrating the capabil... no, hell I don't know what they were trying to show and I don't think most viewers could figure that out either. The two that have run so far (there is supposedly a third one out there, but it is not planned to hit airwaves) have featured Gates and Seinfeld in "real people" locations doing "real people" things. I guess the idea behind these ads was to demonstrate that, despite his billions, Gates still likes to save on shoes? These ads were truly Seinfeldian in the sense that they were about nothing, and really didn't try to sell the viewer anything. In that respect I think they were a success. Unfortunately for Microsoft, that was the only realm in which they succeeded. If I was anything like the average viewer, I got two things out of the ad: 1) a fresh look at some Seinfeld humor and 2) the chance to laugh at an aimless ad campaign from M$. Thanks, Billy boy, for keeping my homeboy Jerry rich (he was paid $10 mil for the spots) and me laughing at your company!
Set #3: The Aforementioned "I'm A PC" Ads. On the face of it, these ads may seem like they are doing the job they were intended to do (unlike the Seinfeld ones) and giving the viewer some credit (unlike the insulting Mojave ones). The problem with these ads, though? As Prince McLean puts it in his recent article:
"Apple presents the Mac in contrast to PC because it wants to avoid any unnecessary mention of Windows. By copying Apple's line, Microsoft will be spending millions to advertise the PC rather than the Windows brand.
Further, as PC companies such as Dell and Acer continue to seek new ways to use Linux in place of Windows, and as the top PC vendor HP begins its own efforts to create a Windows alternative ... the idea of advertising 'the PC' [does] even less for Microsoft."
I loled at you, Microsoft. Just stick with what you know and don't try to "be cool". Most people use you for uncool things at work and school, and thats ok. Just take your ~90% market share and be happy! You have your monopoly and most people would be content with that. So sit back, relax, and leave the commercials to the fine folks in Cupertino.
PS - Interestingly enough, the "I'm a PC" ads were apparently made on, you guessed it, a Mac!
18 September 2008
predictive powers
As it turns out, having NO internet access at home will do a lot to hinder one's ability to update a blog. That being said, I think I have worked out a system (read: found a place secret nearby with free interwebs) that will allow me to update pretty much every day. Its not that I haven't had ideas for blogging, its just that I haven't had the chance to get to internet to share them.
But a few updates before I get to the main point of this post:
1) I now have TV. Phase 1 of my master Satellite TV plan is complete.
2) I have begun to listen to the "Southern Light Gospel Network" radio station. Not because I have turned a new leaf, but because I am a cynical bastard and like to hear what these "values voters" have to say sometimes.
3) I have rediscovered the glory of the Lean Mean Fat Burning Machine (otherwise known as a George Foreman Grill)
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming:
I would like to point out to everyone my amazing predictive powers. Last week, there was a lot of hand-wringing and chicken-little-ing coming from a lot of Obama supporters. If you can remember that far back (before this nation's economy took a long walk off a short, poorly constructed pier) all signs pointed to the "genius" of the Palin pick and how soaring McCain's numbers were due to his "maverick" seclection of the Alaskan governor. I was beginning to get a little hot under the collar myself, but then took a step back and remembered what I had thought the instant I heard that Palin was goingto be McCain's running mate: holy shit, what a pick, she must be the least qualified veep selection since Spiro Agnew... this is gold! I then wrote the following passage in an email to a friend the morning of Wednesday 10 September:
"I am sure you are well aware of the seemingly boundless "Palin bounce" that is going on right now, with McCain experiencing boosts in all the major polls and especially among the white middle age women bracket. From what I have read on most of the sites these days (this is what I do when kids fall asleep in class instead of responding to my summons), it seems like the netroots are getting hot under the collar regarding this situation. I really don't think they should (at least thats what I tell myself when I begin to worry), for a few reasons. First, I know the media is definitely doing its part (ie: lipstick on a pig flap) to fan the flames being ignighted by the McCain campaign. It seems that they are all too happy to harp on any little thing that comes there way that feeds into the McCain-Palin bounce narrative that seems to be the order of the week for the news cycle. Secondly, the Obama campaign (while being far from perfect) has done a good job so far in weathering all storms that have come its way (remember that time Obama was linked to a certain radical pastor? who talks about that anymore?) and come out of everything pretty much on top. I am sure that the next week's narrative will have something to do with the outright dishonest and dishonorable nature of a lot of the ads that the McCain campaign is running (that sex-ed one comes to mind) and the flaws in the Palin selection (which after some initial doubts has been hailed as a great success from what I have read)."
There you have it, ladies and gents, the media is so predictable that this lowly college advisor could figure out what would play out in the coming week: a shift in narrative, new portents of an Obama surge, and Palin coming under even more scrutiny.
As for another prediction, I don't think I want to press my luck... BUT I do like to gamble, so I am going to go out on a limb:
Prediction: Next week will be another rough one for McCain, as his "fundamentals" comment gets more and more play, and possibly his bizarre interview coupled with Chuck Hagel's comments about Palin will play well into the developing narrative that McCain's numbers are following the Dow's southward plunge. Look for this to feed nicely into the story that McCain will "do better than expected" in next Friday's debate.
Lets watch how this works.
But a few updates before I get to the main point of this post:
1) I now have TV. Phase 1 of my master Satellite TV plan is complete.
2) I have begun to listen to the "Southern Light Gospel Network" radio station. Not because I have turned a new leaf, but because I am a cynical bastard and like to hear what these "values voters" have to say sometimes.
3) I have rediscovered the glory of the Lean Mean Fat Burning Machine (otherwise known as a George Foreman Grill)
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming:
I would like to point out to everyone my amazing predictive powers. Last week, there was a lot of hand-wringing and chicken-little-ing coming from a lot of Obama supporters. If you can remember that far back (before this nation's economy took a long walk off a short, poorly constructed pier) all signs pointed to the "genius" of the Palin pick and how soaring McCain's numbers were due to his "maverick" seclection of the Alaskan governor. I was beginning to get a little hot under the collar myself, but then took a step back and remembered what I had thought the instant I heard that Palin was goingto be McCain's running mate: holy shit, what a pick, she must be the least qualified veep selection since Spiro Agnew... this is gold! I then wrote the following passage in an email to a friend the morning of Wednesday 10 September:
"I am sure you are well aware of the seemingly boundless "Palin bounce" that is going on right now, with McCain experiencing boosts in all the major polls and especially among the white middle age women bracket. From what I have read on most of the sites these days (this is what I do when kids fall asleep in class instead of responding to my summons), it seems like the netroots are getting hot under the collar regarding this situation. I really don't think they should (at least thats what I tell myself when I begin to worry), for a few reasons. First, I know the media is definitely doing its part (ie: lipstick on a pig flap) to fan the flames being ignighted by the McCain campaign. It seems that they are all too happy to harp on any little thing that comes there way that feeds into the McCain-Palin bounce narrative that seems to be the order of the week for the news cycle. Secondly, the Obama campaign (while being far from perfect) has done a good job so far in weathering all storms that have come its way (remember that time Obama was linked to a certain radical pastor? who talks about that anymore?) and come out of everything pretty much on top. I am sure that the next week's narrative will have something to do with the outright dishonest and dishonorable nature of a lot of the ads that the McCain campaign is running (that sex-ed one comes to mind) and the flaws in the Palin selection (which after some initial doubts has been hailed as a great success from what I have read)."
There you have it, ladies and gents, the media is so predictable that this lowly college advisor could figure out what would play out in the coming week: a shift in narrative, new portents of an Obama surge, and Palin coming under even more scrutiny.
As for another prediction, I don't think I want to press my luck... BUT I do like to gamble, so I am going to go out on a limb:
Prediction: Next week will be another rough one for McCain, as his "fundamentals" comment gets more and more play, and possibly his bizarre interview coupled with Chuck Hagel's comments about Palin will play well into the developing narrative that McCain's numbers are following the Dow's southward plunge. Look for this to feed nicely into the story that McCain will "do better than expected" in next Friday's debate.
Lets watch how this works.
26 August 2008
first day
My first day at school was yesterday, and it was dominated by a singular, week-defining event:
The EYE BUG CATASTROPHE!!!!111
The story goes as follows:
It was around 9:48 or so (it was a very lax day, the kids had no use for college guidance on a day when they were learning where all of their classes were), when I started to rub my right eye. Typically, this process is known as 'rubbing the sleep out of ones eyes’, which at this boring and relatively early juncture of the day was exactly my plan. Typically this part of the eye is full of goodies, you know eye crust and the like. As I rubbed, though, I noted that my particular treasure this time was a lot bigger in mass and queer in texture as compared to the standard issue I typically get. As I rolled this treat down my cheek and collected it on my finger, I noticed something… horrific. Something so shocking that I am pretty sure I jumped out of my seat and shrieked.
What was this ghastly discovery?
Nothing other than a GREEN BUG. Yes, there on the tip of my finger was green insect of about 3 mm in length and .75 mm in width. The presence of this bug was disturbing in the extreme. After all, its probably one of the things you least expect to see staring right back at you when you rub your eye. Needless to say, this discovery prompted more questions than it did answers, questions such as:
1) Where the hell did this bug come from? (and sub-questions like)
1a) How did it get in my eye?
1b) Did it originate in my eye or merely land there from above or crawl there from below?
1c)Has this bug been in my eye since Saturday, when I thought I got a flying object in my eye for a bit?
2) Why do things like this happen to me?
These questions raced in my head all day, preventing me from doing my normal duties at work (of which there were very few, but still it was a considerable distraction).
For the rest of the day, I was phased by the presence of the bug, and I spent due time and diligence doing my best to measure, categorize, and analyze the bug in full detail.
All that I can provide to you, dear reader, is this somewhat blurry iPhone generated photograph of the culprit.
If you have any information that could lead to this bug’s identification or an explanation of what it was doing in my eye, please send all responses to:
wtf!?@lolerskates.edu
The EYE BUG CATASTROPHE!!!!111
The story goes as follows:
It was around 9:48 or so (it was a very lax day, the kids had no use for college guidance on a day when they were learning where all of their classes were), when I started to rub my right eye. Typically, this process is known as 'rubbing the sleep out of ones eyes’, which at this boring and relatively early juncture of the day was exactly my plan. Typically this part of the eye is full of goodies, you know eye crust and the like. As I rubbed, though, I noted that my particular treasure this time was a lot bigger in mass and queer in texture as compared to the standard issue I typically get. As I rolled this treat down my cheek and collected it on my finger, I noticed something… horrific. Something so shocking that I am pretty sure I jumped out of my seat and shrieked.
What was this ghastly discovery?
Nothing other than a GREEN BUG. Yes, there on the tip of my finger was green insect of about 3 mm in length and .75 mm in width. The presence of this bug was disturbing in the extreme. After all, its probably one of the things you least expect to see staring right back at you when you rub your eye. Needless to say, this discovery prompted more questions than it did answers, questions such as:
1) Where the hell did this bug come from? (and sub-questions like)
1a) How did it get in my eye?
1b) Did it originate in my eye or merely land there from above or crawl there from below?
1c)Has this bug been in my eye since Saturday, when I thought I got a flying object in my eye for a bit?
2) Why do things like this happen to me?
These questions raced in my head all day, preventing me from doing my normal duties at work (of which there were very few, but still it was a considerable distraction).
For the rest of the day, I was phased by the presence of the bug, and I spent due time and diligence doing my best to measure, categorize, and analyze the bug in full detail.
All that I can provide to you, dear reader, is this somewhat blurry iPhone generated photograph of the culprit.
If you have any information that could lead to this bug’s identification or an explanation of what it was doing in my eye, please send all responses to:
wtf!?@lolerskates.edu
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