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tuesday museday

This week's edition is brought to you by the letter 'S.'

S is for Schadenfreude - I was feeling it during this weekend's NFL playoff action. Big time. First on the plate were the Dallas Cowboys, with their crazy owner and comical quarterback/coach combination. I must admit that I was nervous that the Cowboys were going to live up to all of their big talk and put a hurting on the Vikings, who aside from brutalizing my Giants hadn't had a convincing performance in about a month. Many of the professional prognosticators called the game "a 50-50 coinflip," and I sure as hell didn't want Tony Romo's goofy-ass face coming up heads. Fuck that guy. Luckily for me, though, the Vikings put it ON the Cowboys, demolishing them 34-3. Score one for the Dallas-haters. The next matchup looked even less promising, with the Jets taking on the Marmalard-powered Chargers. Surely, the Dislexy Rexy coached Jets would fall to the mighty SuperChargers, right? WRONG! I was treated to another delicious serving of schadenfreude when Norval onside-kicked his team's playoff chances over to the Jets. Nate Kaeding also played his part too, reliving his delicious fail of 2005... times 3! How WONDERFUL!

S is for Scott Brown - Massachusetts' newest Senator! Yay! We are now liberated from Obamacare, socialism, et al. forever and ever. Way to go Massholes!

S is for Sadness? - See above.

S is for Stuck - as in stuck between that place where you don't know whether to laugh or cry. I really wish our government weren't so dysfunctional as to let 41 members of a deliberative body block the will of 59, but that being the case, the results in Massachusetts tonight are disappointing (crying). The ineptitude of the Democrats since November 2008 has been almost comical (laughing). Notice S is not for Surprise in this case. After recent polls showed Brown surging, the writing was pretty much on the wall for Coakley. What is it with Democrats putting up doo doo butter candidates to lose hold of offices? Last November, I thought the lesson was learned with Virginia getting this ascot-wearing douche as its Governor. The Democratic Party has proven itself to be FECKLESS in the senate, so I am not shocked that they managed to lose this seat and imperil meaningful healthcare reform.

The picture above is like the 5th Google images result for "fecklessness." I am not one to argue with Google, so I kept Gin Lane in here. Maybe thats a vision into America's new, terrible future

S is for Soccer news - in three acts: Madrid lose to Athletic Bilbao (ugh), Clint Dempsey injures knee (double ugh), and DC United sign Danny Allsopp (wt ugh). Maybe S is for SHITTY Soccer news? Hopefully relief from ugh will come next week.

tuesday museday mobile

Hello! Greetings from my gmail account as I try to write my latest installment of the muse on the go.  Whats the rush, you ask? Well I am going to the movies tonight, and since all reputable and decent theaters are literal tens of miles away, its a bit of a trek and I don't reckon I will be back in any time to muse later on tonight.  So there we have it!

Onwards, with the mobile, abbreviated muse:

Netflix - continues to amaze me.  Due to a snow day on Friday and the general lax nature of my Saturday, I was able to catch up on a season and a half of 30 Rock via internet streaming through the PS3 and watch a couple of movies as well.  BAM! The movies load pretty fast on the player, and skipping ahead/back to scenes is super easy with the user interface they have created.  I would say that instant access to all of these shows and movies is perhaps better than the DVD rental portion of the service.  If only I had a decent TV to watch all of these fantastic movies/shows on...

The TV Situation - is becoming just that, a situation.  Of the bad variety.  After starting the long-term borrowing of the PS3 for the winter/spring, I have been filled with a good deal of regret that I don't have an adequate tv on which I can watch movies/play games.  Actually, the tv is fine for watching movies, but the playing of video games has been a tale of constant sadness.  After noticing that the menus on FIFA10 were damn near unreadable on my tv, I endeavored to get an HDMI-DVI converter cable so I could play the PS3 on my computer monitor.  I  found one at monoprice.com for 4 bucks and I thought I was good to go.  Had it shipped extra fast for more game-time.  Well, the thing comes in the mail and I try hooking it up to my monitor and GUESS WHAT... some fucking encryption crap called HDCP that is hard-coded into the PS3 prevents it from sending HDMI signal to an output device that is not HDCP compliant.  As my monitor predates HDCP my months, I am, as they say, shit out of luck! Great.  More fucking squinting at the tv screen hoping that I am not making my already poor eyesight even poorer.

Is there anything better than the NFL Playoffs? No, no there isn't.  Non-Green Bay/New England/Cincinnati/Philadelphia fans were treated to quite a spectacle this weekend in the wild card round.  Most right-thinking people pretty much hate the Pats and the Eagles anyway, so it was quite a treat to see those teams fall flat on their faces against opponents that were all too ready to punch them in the mouth.  I must admit I felt a little bad for the Bungles, as well, they are the Bungles and one of their players died this year.  Kinda wish that karma would balance out with at least one playoff victory.  Bro well.  Green Bay's loss to the Cardinals provided ample lols, more than I could expect for a wild card match, and which is all that I can ask for in a football game where I really don't care which team wins.  Here's to hoping that next week brings equal excitement, and the demise of Romo and Marmalard.

The big chill - is still getting on my nerves.  Someone call the Arctic and tell it to take its fucking cold ass air back.  We in the warmer climes can DO WITHOUT it.  Now I like a good snow day as much as the next guy, but these days of barely cracking the freezing mark and nights that plunge into the teens are getting OLD, FAST.  Luckily, each cold ass day that passes means we are that much closer to glorious spring.

Alright, time to head out of work early and begin the long trek to civilization for this movie outing.

tuesday museday 2010

Happy New Year! I know I was absent for some time over winter break, but thats just the way things go when the sun and fun of Florida provide ample distraction. Actually, who am I kidding? I rarely went outside, and when I did it was to do yardwork for my mom. My break was full of playing FIFA10 and watching HD movies on my parent's new TV.

Anyway, upwards and onwards to the inaugural muse of the year:

• wtf cold weather?! - Holy crap its cold outside. Where is that global warming Al Gore promised me in that movie a couple of years ago? You know the one he made on his Mac that scared the crap out of everyone and got him a Nobel Prize? Way to renege, dude. I am freezing my ass off here, and you know things are bad when the temperature cracks above freezing and it seems like a warm day. At least there is some snow in the forecast towards the end of the week. I swear, though, if this doesn't net me at least a two-hour delay I am doing to... to... be really mad! Gah, I can't wait for spring.

• Resolutioners... I am officially over you. No, no not you (hopefully) ex-smokers or dried up alcoholics out there. I am talking only to you people clogging up my gym for the past two days. As someone who has gone to the gym on a fairly regular basis for something like 6 years now, this January influx is not unexpected, but boy does it steam my clams. Don't get me wrong, I am all about self-improvement and getting fit and all that... heck thats why I am at the gym! BUT REALLY, these people are the worst. Its damn near impossible to get a treadmill to warmup on, and when I do find one, I am next to the smelly old guy! Come on! Ab machines? Forget about it. The newbies are using up all of those as well. Seriously, though, the fact that all these people are deciding at THE SAME FUCKING TIME to get in shape pisses me off. Getting healthy is something you want to start working on PROMPTLY. When you look at yourself in the mirror one day and realize you have to shape up, join a gym THAT DAY. Don't fucking put it off until some arbitrary day WHEN EVERYONE ELSE will be doing the SAME THING. It just makes things shitty for everyone. Put down the god damned hamburger and get on the stairmaster this MINUTE (not literally this minute because that would compound the problem, but you know what I mean.) GAH.

• Netflix - I can't believe I waited so long to get on this train. Now that I'm on it, though, I couldn't be more excited for the ride! Within minutes my mailing queue was stocked and my watch instantly list was extensive. I may not have mentioned this before, but I really like movies. I really don't like going out of my way to get them, though. Netflix really seems like it is going to bridge that gap nicely. First movie up on the queue is The Wrestler. Some other great movies are to follow, so I am thinking the blog may benefit from this new service by adding a new movie review feature (!)

• New York "Football" Giants - the football is in quotes because I am not sure if the team knew what sport they were supposed to be playing for the past couple of weeks. I really wasn't expecting all that much from the team following the fucking disgrace that was the Panthers game, but they really exceeded my expectations for shittyness with that stinker they laid in Minnesota. At least Bill Sheridan's head got rolling pretty quickly thereafter, but I am really hoping there is is another shoe to drop soon. And by shoe I mean Kevin Gilbride and by drop I mean get ditched in favor of an offensive coordinator worth a damn.

Onward and upward for the week, there may or may not be a book review soonish.

tuesday museday SEQUEL

... and we're back for part 2 of the NFL "of the Decade" edition of tuesday museday (on a wednesday no less!)

with no further ado, nos. 6 through 10!

6) Play of the Decade: Manning to Tyree in Super Bowl XLII

Apologies to the Music City Miracle (which actually occurred in the playoffs following the 1999 regular season, so I don't feel that bad), but this play was one of the wildest, perhaps flukiest, and definitely memorable plays of the decade. This play came on a career-defining drive for Manning, going for the win against a Patriots team that nearly everyone expected to go 19-0. After Manning gets out of the clutches of the Patriots pass rush, he seemingly lobs the ball into the middle of the field, where shockingly there is a Giants receiver waiting for the pass. Tyree goes up for it, and PINS the ball to his helmet and deftly prevents the pigskin from touching the ground. Rodney Harrison is simultaneously too shocked and unaware to try to strip the ball from the receiver. A few plays later, the drive is completed with a Manning TD pass to Burress and the Super Bowl of the Decade is pretty much over.

7) Upset of the Decade: Giants over Patriots in Super Bowl XLII

Recency effect! You are a Giants fan! What about the Patriots over the Rams in XXXVI?! STFU, I say. You can't tell me that beating the team that had YET TO BE DEFEATED and which had set NUMEROUS OFFENSIVE RECORDS in the process doesn't qualify as the upset of the decade. At least this is my last post that involves the Giants. The Patriots on the other hand...

8) Call of the Decade: Tuck Rule in 2001 Raiders vs. Patriots AFC Divisional Game

Note: I am not saying its the best or worst call of the decade, I am simply noting its importance. The "tuck rule" becomes the savior of the Patriots and the doom of the Raiders. Three weeks after Walt Coleman's controversial call, the Patriots win Super Bowl XXXVI and two subsequent titles, the Raiders make it to XXXVII, but slide into ignominy for the rest of the decade (one can envision an alternate universe where if the call were different, the Raiders win the game and somehow don't end up drafting this "quarterback" some years later). I am not sure if one call so dramatically impacted the fates of the teams and careers of the players involved so much as this one.

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Things that rank among "of the Decade" are not always great. For items 9 and 10, I have some thoughts on things that were not so hot this decade. Even though there are only two selections, I think you will notice a distinct pattern:

9) Bust of the Decade: Detroit Lions 1st Round Draft Picks (2002, 2003, 2005)

Mssrs. Harrington, Rogers, and Williams all join forces to create a megabust for this worst thing of the decade. Since their suckitude is patently clear, I will not elaborate more.

10) Worst Team of the Decade: Detroit Lions

42 wins DTD (decade to date) with a record setting 0 win season thrown in there qualifies this team for the inglorious title of Worst Team of the Decade. Again, the craptastic quality of this team is self-evident, so the analysis is unnecessary.

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I hope you, dear reader, have enjoyed this DiR as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I may feel inspired to do a few more before we finally say goodbye to the aughts, but not before Saturday, as I will be on an epic road trip until then.

tuesday museday

Another Tuesday, another (two part!) muse:

Ah, its that truly magical time that comes around every ten years, when we can take a subject matter and analyze it through the lens of the decade gone by. The subject matter at hand today is the NFL. The aughts represent my first full decade of football memories, and to celebrate this fact (and to gloss over its corollary, that I am getting old) I propose a Decade in Review for the NFL. The DiR consists of a series of "of the Decade"s. For example, if I were to have a "Top Restaurant Discovery of the Decade" it would surely be Chipotle. Before being introduced to its burritos back in 2002, Mexican food was purely a 3rd rate sit down dinner experience for me. Discovery of Chipotle was a watershed moment in restauranting for me for the rest of the aughts. As such, it gains "of the Decade" status. Make sense? Alright, now that I am hungry for a burrito, back to football we go. Seeing as how the decade represents 10 years, I chose 10 areas to highlight. With pictures! Please and thank you!

1) Offensive Player of the Decade: Peyton MANNING

Peyton Manning was selected to the 2000 and 2002-2008 Pro Bowls; was named NFL MVP in 2003, 2004, and 2008; was Super Bowl XLI MVP and Champion; and has been the face of the NFL for a greater part of the decade. He has coached the winningest team of the decade, the Colts, a team that would be a mere shell of itself without him running the show from the quarterback position. Some might cry out that Brady is 3x as much of a champion and thus deserves the award, but I will hear no such arguments. The Pats could have probably achieved a portion of their success without him as QB. The Colts, not so much.

2) Defensive Player of the Year: Ray LEWIS

Ray Lewis was selected to the 2000-01, 2003-04, and 2006-08 Pro Bowls; was named Defensive Player of the Year in 2000 and 2003; was Super Bowl XXXV MVP and Champion; and has some of the sickest pre-game dance moves in the league, which are an inspiration to millions of Baltimorons (I was going to link to a Ravens-themed wedding reception, in which the overweight white groom does his best Lewis impression - God help us - but sadly its a private vimeo video now). Anywho, Lewis is a physical freak, being a bulwark on a formidable defense for the past decade.

3) Team of the Decade: New England Patriots

The Pats appeared in Super Bowls XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXIX, and XLVII - claiming the championship in the first 3. They were also the first team to ever go 18-0, which was great and all, except that season had 19 games. Haha! But seriously, even though I hate them, I have to give credit where credit is due. Spygate, 18-1, and Bill Belichick's loathsomeness aside, this team will forever be synonymous with 2000s success.

4) Coach of the Decade: Bill BELICHICK

Bill Belichick started off the decade with a shrewd move - vacating the Jets coaching job within a day of receiving it, and went on to coach the Pats to their three Super Bowl crowns and their memorable Super Bowl loss to the Giants. I really dislike this dude (he may even be a cheater), but he, like his Pats, will forever be synonymous with success in the aughts.

5) Super Bowl of the Decade: XLII (Giants vs. Patriots)

Undefeated Pats cruise to their crowning moment, 4th Super Bowl in the decade, and a special place in the history boo... OH WAIT. The GIANTS win this one. Guided by a MANNING?! This is a total nightmare for the Pats, a wondrous event for Giants fans/Pats haters/and the '72 Dolphins all the same. In my (clearly) unbiased opinion, hands down Super Bowl of the decade, perhaps of all!

....

[Numbers 6 through 10 to appear in tomorrow's muse sequel]

kit quick hit!

A possible feature? In the future? We'll see...

For now, though, two hearty helpings of FAIL in the world of kits, sadly both involving my favoured (note the English spelling!) sporting apparel maker adidas.

1) Just wandered over to Kitbag today to see what was going on in the world of purchasable kits and other soccer paraphernalia and noticed this little gem in the upper right of my screen. What would that be? Stevie G and his mug hawking "Liverpool European Away Kits." Ah yes, those kits that you will be donning in the prestigious Europa League, Mr. Gerrard? And, what? They are 15% off you say? What a shock! A great value for an item that will remind Liverpool fans of an utterly uninspiring and miserable European campaign this year. They should be giving these horrible things away, as a courtesy to fans, so they have something with which they can wipe away their salty scouser tears.

Liverpool better shape up before they get the Newcastle Treatment

2) Apparently, adidas unveiled the WC 2010 Nigeria kit a little too early. How early? Well, it would appear so early that the Nigerian FA didn't even have time to approve the design! I know adidas are eager to trot out their WC2010 offerings, but before the country's federation has time to approve them? Slow down there, Adi.

[image via football shirt blog @ footballshirtculture]