cristiano ronaldo

Last night, I had a dream that featured the Portuguese winger prominently. I am really conflicted about this dream for several reasons:

1) I've never really been a fan of his on-the-field shenanigans. By shenanigans I mean going to ground too easily and asking for a lot of calls/cards.

2) Does this portent mean he is coming to Real Madrid? I'm not too sure if thats a move the Blancos need to make...

3) Objectively viewed, he is a fairly attractive man. The fact that I had a dream about going to his house makes me ask myself some tough questions.

The dream itself wasn't too bizarre at all. For some reason, in my subconscious, Portugal looks a lot like southwest Florida and Cristiano's house looked like one that could be found right around the block from my parent's house. So I walked up to one of these houses, that I knew somehow was CR7's despite looking like any other on the block. I knock on the door and his girlfriend (Nereida Gallardo) answers and says hello like we are the oldest of friends. Cristiano comes out of the very modest kitchen (apparently in my dream he is a big fan of grilled cheese) into an even more modest livingroom (it featured a big leather recliner and a few of those green plastic lawn chairs) where we sat down and discussed Portugal's prospects for Euro 2008. I had to go before he started talking about a nagging groin injury (thankfully, before I really had to start questioning myself), but I politely thanked him for some of the grilled cheese and Nereida gave me a peck on the cheek before I walked out the door (needless to say I could have gone for a more Nereida-centered dream, sigh) and went about my business.

What does this all mean? I don't know. Maybe I am as unsettled by all this Ronaldo to Madrid talk as CR7 is... and the Guardian isn't helping at all.

dreamy... literally.

john mccain

If anyone else thinks John McCain sounds 110% like the old, lecturing, out of touch grandfather he is, please raise your hand.

God this guy sucks more than I ever realized. Keep relying on negativity, thats going to contrast well with the whole "hope" theme that your newly nominated rival is touting. And stop saying "thats not change we can believe in", fanculo!

You aren't Ronald Regan, so stop trying.

barack obama

He's done it folks... Mr. Obama tonight will secure the Presidential nomination of the Democratic Party. This is a pretty historic moment, and I know I will be glued to MSNBC to see how it all goes down. Its going to be a hell of a speech, I'm sure. If you are interested in reading an advance copy, Daily Kos has one here.

Exciting times.

moustache

Being bored at home can do some pretty weird things to you. As an example, I will provide the following cautionary tale.

While at home, figuring I had no one to impress and that my parents would love me either way, I decided to shave only the cheek and neck area, leaving the 'stache area and chin covered in what sparse hair covering my facial follicles could muster. What developed was the sketchiest, skeeviest facial hair this side of Charlotte (see picture below). While this stylistic choice was a victimless crime for a few days, it soon became apparent that venturing outside of my house and partaking in significant interactions with other people (especially people that would would like to respect you) did myself a great injustice.

The casual observer would not give the deformed goatee much notice, some offered stares that bordered on fascination, but two people that I would not wish to think me a complete clown definitely made concrete judgements on my character based on the presence of the poorly developed goatee-stache. They were:

1. Chris, the car salesman (see previous post). He must have thought: wow what a fool this kid is for growing this pitiful thing on his face. He must come from a family of such fools who will be easily duped into giving me large sums of money for a small, polite Japanese car. (This was not to be the case as Dad was set in not paying more than $400 over invoice, but the haggling probably took longer based on Chris' initial read of my facial signals).

2. Jimmy, my grand-uncle. Jimmy is an interesting character. He is a retired electrical engineer from Puerto Rico who enjoys building computers in his spare time when he isn't configuring his satellite to pick up more channels than he probably pays for. I guess retirement and getting older makes you more averse to the normal modes of paying for and getting goods or services (ref: early bird specials at restaurants). But I digress. When I came in to make the obligatory visit while in Florida, he saw me and immediately made a face one makes when tasting a paricularly curious new flavor or when trying to solve a complex puzzle. I guess in this instance the puzzle was why his previously reasonable grand-nephew was sporting this offense to the senses on his face. I think the graduation present took a hit because of it, lest his precious retirement money go to cover the cost of the drugs he must have thought I was one while shaving. (Not true, Jim, just really bored at home, sorry!)

Needless to say, I shaved later that day before making a trip over to Tyler's (I don't think the abomination would have gotten rave reviews there, either). I guess the grand lesson in all of this is to not attempt facial hair unless you can grow it sufficiently to some semblance of a style. I think I will funnel my latent creative energies into other, more productive ventures (you are reading one) while at home to prevent further damaging experimentation.

RIP, creeper stache, I hardly knew ye.


Clearly hasn't learned my lesson.

new car

This weekend I got a new car as a graduation present from my parents (thanks mom and dad!). Its a silver 2008 Civic EX Coupe (pictured below). It is a welcome change from my ant-dominated, gas-guzzling disaster of a Jetta (also pictured below). Benefits of this new car over the previous Brendan-mobile include improved gas mileage, better safety features, and fewer strange crayon odors. I would also hope that this polite, efficient Japanese machine will have better luck than the six-cylindered German brute in the sense that: 1) fewer trees will choose to fall on it, 2) as corollary, it will spring fewer flood-inducing leaks, 3) and ultimately be less of a shitshow of a auto. To be fair though, the Jetta wasn't all bad. It was a stylish ride for its first few months, and at one point it featured a fully functioning 10 CD changer, a sweet chrome grill... and floor mats!

But on to the new...

Getting the car was a bit of a show. Mom and I went over to the Honda dealership to check out what they had in stock and what kind of deals they were offering. We were greeted by a gentleman named Chris, a Jon Voight looking fellow who was eager to show us around. As he extolled the virtues of the Civic, I looked nervously at Mom, who was texting Dad to see if he was on his way to the dealership. 30 minutes into car searching and she was already tired of the rigamarole and calling into the bullpen to bring out the closer. A few minutes later, on comes goateed, sunglassed, tight t-shirt sporting Dad ready to make a deal. What ensued for the next hour and a half was the time-honored absurdity known as haggling. It went something like this:

Dad offers to pay x over invoice.
Chris counter-offers x+y (citing esoteric features and options included with the model)
Dad remains firm
Chris says he will "talk to his manager" to "see what he can do"
reapeat x 10.

I think by "talk to his manager" Chris meant "use a calculator to see how much his commission would be pinched by the price reduction". In any event, they finally agreed and I had a new car. I am now soliciting all for names for this beauty of a automobile, so let the suggestions fly.

new car needs a name?

goodbye jetta!

hello world

so, I am just starting this thing up, after much tinkering and whatnot. there will be more posts to come, to be sure. so it goes.