Also, today was much more newsworthy, what with the two speeches that will mark the day in history for ALL TIME.
A review of the first, a liveblog (of sorts) of the second.
1) Steve Jobs announces the... iPad.
...
Firstly, what the fuck kind of name is iPad? Its menstrual overtones aside, it just seems too close to iPod for my liking, and really is it a Pad? A Slate I will believe, a Tablet sure, but a Pad? A Pad is something I take casual notes or doodles on. Read eBooks, listen to music, watch videos, make presentations, etc... I am not so sure. So the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly about the iPad:
The Good:
- Interface: from what I have seen, the way a user interacts with the iPad seems pretty cool. Being able to flick and drag pictures in iPhoto looks like a lot of fun. It also strikes me as an intuitive way to work with pictures. The same can be said for what I saw from Keynote for iPad... if my work necessitated using such a device to create presentations, I would gladly work for hours on it.
- Battery life: good god, 10 hours!?! Thats freaking awesome.
- Promise: I see this iPad being able to do a lot of things in the future. A LOT of things. It seems kind of unwieldy now (what with the dongles and all), but I think the concept holds a lot of promise for the future of gaming, for computing, and for media consumption. More on this later....
The Bad:
- Inputs/outputs: sweet baby Jesus... the dongles! What the hell is going on with these dongles? Since when is the uber design-conscious Apple in the market of selling us devices that need so many god damn DONGLES! When you need a dongle for a USB cable... YOU'RE NOT KABLAMMO.
- Six (6) price points?!/! wtf is that, Apple? That seems like QUITE the M$ maneuver. I thought one of the features of Apple's sales strategy was that there are few options, that the consumer merely had to pick an Apple product based on their specific needs and go with it.
The Ugly:
- The design I mentioned earlier, the fact that the machine looks somewhat strange (infinite bevel, what's with that Apple?), is somewhat un-Apple. I doubt that the machine was rushed per se, but I think that a lot more could have been done to make the design more aesthetically pleasing.
- Home button, really?
- NO MULTITASKING. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
...more on iPad later, when I have had more time to digest it all and read more about the tech specs.
----
2) President Obama's 1st SOTU.
Alright, here is where Obama either starts the trend towards being the next Reagan or the next Carter. My thoughts, as they come to me, with no timestamp or attention to grammar:
- Pelosi is looking particular skeleton-y tonight. Hot.
- I HATE ERIC CANTOR, WHAT A DOUCHE.
- Obama is cracking joke(s). More than one? Hmm, I liked the one asking for applause from the Repubs re: tax cuts. Nice.
- JOBS. Where are the JOBS?! A jobs bill? Didn't we already try that?
- Small business help, eh? Thought the elephant brigade would like that? No? Just big businesses these days? Cool.
- FUCK YOU ERIC CANTOR! I bet he is giving an h-job to Boehner on the sly. GO DIE.
- More smiles.
- Jobs bill on the desk without delay? Just like the health care bill? ORLY
- How long should America put its future on hold. Love it!
- FUCK YEAH AMERICA 1st PLACE FTW.
- Don't want to punish banks? I think we should consider that one, they seem like they need some punishing. REEEEAAALLL REFORM, we gotta get it right.
- Disagree with overwhelming scientific evidence of climate change - cold icy stare towards repubs - joe biden laughs in the background. I laugh in the background.
- What are we going to export? Our sadness? I am pretty sure exporting requires things to be made here, which we don't do anymore.
- All this talk about trade... you are starting to lose me here Barry...
- Oh, education, thats good. Race to the Top? World class education! Yeah! Buzzwords.
- COMMUNITY COLLEGES YEEAAASSSS. Revitalize those guys, plz. And end FFEL, sure that sounds good. 10k tax credit for 4 years of college? Sexy.
- Joe Biden, professional train man, knows something of these "middle-class" people we hear so much about.
- ugh, health insurance reform... did we have to bring that up? kind of a blight on the congress as of late.
- MORE LOLS. Healthcare LOLS. So funny?
- NO MORE FATS, thats what I have been waiting for! backyard gardens for all!
- AGAIN WITH THE LOLS.
- enough with the healthcare already - what?
- did you hear that? if you have better ideas, let him KNOW. So lets start all over again, or something.
- ooo, forceful hand motions. very good.
- WHAAA NBC END THAT OVERHEAD VIEW. NOW.
- womp wonk wont, deficits...
- the CONRAD-GREGG abortion?! really? we are talking about that thing? horrible.
- "thats how budgeting works"... SNARKITUDE. thats something even I know how to do!
- and more snark. comical. I kind of want a snack right now.
- this SOTU has to have set the record for JOKES and JOKES. Man this guy is funny.
- yikes, poor RBG, she doesn't look so hot right now.
- earmark some reform, why not?
- confirm my appointments, YOU ASSFUCKS. Why hasn't he straight up javelin-ed some repubs right now.
- Mitch McConnell needs this thing. Badly.
- has Napolitano made out with Reno yet?
- ugh, Iraq is SO 2000-late. Good thing its coming to an end? Soon? Maybe?
- show me more Jill Biden. She is a FOX.
- JFK and REAGAN? My god man, you could have the best hair of any president, ever.
- zooooooonnnnning out.
- and still, disinterested. is there a pit orchestra that can start playing?
- WOMEN AND GAYS?! come on, this is rose garden speech material at best. jk, love both of those groups.
- haha, i promised some change* (*change not actually guaranteed)
- ... no more jokes now. just Serious America Talk. good?
- ok.... wrap it up please.
/end.
PS - Geithner stiffarm. lol.
