euro thoughts

The tournament began today, and not a day too soon because I was getting tired of the only thing going on in the soccer world being transfer rumors. I enjoyed both games, and figured I would share my thoughts about each one.

Switzerland 0 - 1 Czech Republic
- Some countries have extremely trifling national anthems. The Czech Republic is one of them. "Where is My Homeland?" asks a question to which the answer is clearly "somewhere behind the Iron Curtain of old", because it sounds like a straight up soviet dirge. Terrible.
- Speaking of national anthems, instead of having the typical, you know, Swiss-looking person singing it, they had what appeared to be a gypsy in a swiss miss red dress. At least it was a respectable tune.
- Philippe Senderos is a clown in "defense". One of his best moves of the day was when he closed his legs to prevent an imminent megging, just to be dribbled around instead. Good job.
- Jan Koller is an absolute lurch of a man. He lacks the spindly, awkward qualities that at least make Peter Crouch entertaining to watch.

Portugal 2 - 0 Turkey
- Whoa, am I playing FIFA? No, thats just Andy Gray commentating on a real life match!
- All bias aside, the new generation of Nike uniforms are a little tight fitting for my taste... I saw a little more nipple outlines from both teams than I would care to see.
- I could have sworn this was a sneak preview of the games in Beijing, but not of the soccer competition. No, no, I thought the team diving competition had begun a few months early. Both teams were guilty of some rather mediocre acting in this respect, chief among all being the antithesis-of-handsome Tuncay Sanli.
- I wish ESPN would quit trying to provide American coverage of the tournament and just patch through telecasts from an English-speaking country that has sportscasters who know what the fuck is going on. Julie Foudy is a sweetheart, but I would even take the squad over at FSC over this.


Euro 2008 match prediction success rate: 100%



Thats all for today, I think I am going to Outback with my parents now. Oh, and Clinton conceded today... could this day get any better?

euro 2008

Tomorrow marks the beginning of Euro '08, which I don't think I could be more excited about. Futbol rivals football as my favorite sport, and the prospect of having almost an entire month of top notch competition going on makes me tingle with joy (yeah its that exciting).

And what takes already sumptuous sports competition even better? Yes that would be fantasy sports. As such, I have joined a few leagues and am willing to share my brash and probably incorrect predictions right here. Have more confidence in your predicting abilities, Brendan you say? I would, but... I kind of predicted that Italy would go nowhere in Germany 2006. Yeahhhh, so take these predictions and the commentary for what its worth.


Euro 2008
Preview - Group Stage (projected winners in bold)

Group A
Czech Republic
Portugal
Switzerland
Turkey
// The Czechs and the Portuguese overpower the competition in this one, but I give Rosicky and friends the edge to advance at the top spot. The Swiss will miss out in qualification for the knockout round, but will make it interesting and may well prove me wrong, as host countries are not to be underestimated (unless you are Austria, sry).

Group B
Germany
Croatia
Poland
Austria
// The Germans cruise as they look as comfortable in Austria as they did back in '38. The Croatians pip the Polish and advance as the two seed... sadly the Austrian hosts are blanked and will probably have to streak the Alps or something.

Group C - XXX GROUP OF DEATH XXX
France
Italy
Netherlands
Romania
// The aptly named group of death will offer up some of the best matches of the competition. Apologies to the Romanians, but they will probably be joining the Austrians in their streaking, as they will find it hard to claim a point in this group. I see France going out of the group on top, and the Netherlands missing out on the next round due to a lack of fitness overall.

Group D
Spain
Sweden
Greece
Russia
// With England out of the competition, Spain has sole claim of the title "biggest underperformers with highest expectations". They won't let that title stop them from advancing in first place from the group, but just wait for the later rounds for their patented knockout round chokejob. Sweden will edge out holders Greece for the second spot, as the Greeks will find it hard to repeat the magic of 2004.


So those are my predictions and I am sticking to them... right or (more probably) wrong.

hillary supporter

Below is a transcript of a conversation I had with a friend, self-proclaimed feminist, and Hillary Clinton supporter. Keep these things in mind as you read. This kind of logic represents the uphill battle Obama faces in unifying the party before the convention.

(links added after the fact, comments separated from actual conversation by some sweet //)

me: oh come off it
hillary_fan: im mad you think HRC is an albatross
me: for obama, she would be
me: as vp
me: lets be real here
hillary_fan: he would be lucky to have her
me: LOL
hillary_fan: who is better? CERTAINLY not jim webb
me: no, definitely not
hillary_fan: im definitely voting mccain with webb on a ticket. maybe this kathleen sibelius person? i dont know
me: if he is going with a woman, he has to go with the madam governor of kansas
hillary_fan: 18 million people voted for hillary - thats a lot
me: lets quit rounding up here
me: 18 mil voted for obama as well
hillary_fan: right
me: by the rules, he won
hillary_fan: so doesnt that mean 36 mill would vote for both
me: it should!
me: they're all "democrats"
hillary_fan: oh i know he won, im not disputing that
me: as long as you discount those fiendish righties who voted for hillary to prolong the campaign
hillary_fan: or fiendish righties who voted for obama because they know mccain will demolish him
me: mccain isn't closer policy wise than obama
me: oh right
me: limbaugh wasn't urging his people to go out and vote for obama
me: they should FEAR obama
me: he inspires people
me: mccain literally looks like he is going to croak any minute
hillary_fan: why though - he inspires false hope.
hillary_fan: i want to believe him brendan
me: FALSE HOPE?!?!
hillary_fan: i want to sooo badly - i just DONT
me: you are crazy right now, friend
me: I think you need to cool down a bit after the hillary let down
hillary_fan: im sorry! i cant help it! i just dont believe what he says - and thats always been the case
hillary_fan: i mean - i believe he honestly wants change, etc etc. but i dont believe he can do it
me: even if you don't believe in his message of hope, POLICY wise, he supports more similar things than mccain
me: you can't deny that
me: so you can't honestly say that you would rather have mccain in office
me: the gop is dying right now
hillary_fan: everyone says he wants a new kind of politics, but you cant just decide to change everything - sometimes you need to work within an imperfect system to actually accomplish anything, and as much as people hated clinton for thinking she was manipulative, thats what being a succsessful politician IS
me: I'm not saying that he will be 100% successful
hillary_fan: i honestly think obama wouldnt do shit and mccain would keep us safe while taking away some of my rights maybe - and i need to decide which i prefer
me: WOW
me: not just taking away rights... denying them // just ask ellen
me: HE stands with the people who would rather not let gay people get married
hillary_fan: i know
me: HE stands with the people who want nonsense taught in our schools
hillary_fan: and thats an obvious negative
me: HE stands for most everything you DISLIKE!!!
hillary_fan: i KNOWW but i also think he could do positive things - immigration reform, etc
me: I mean he is better than the average repub on some things, but not by much
hillary_fan: and you have to balance that
me: I am telling you right now... he could be a more disastrous president than bush
me: he is all too ready to put other countries to the sword
me: he is against the Webb GI Bill for christ's sake // check that link, its a gem
me: the man makes no sense
hillary_fan: im just going to have to learn more about him, is all im saying
hillary_fan: im not tying mysef down blindly to one party - that makes no sense
me: he claims to be a foreign policy guy but can't keep sunni and shiite straight!
me: thats true
me: but the whole reason for parties is to facilitate collective action
hillary_fan: ill watch the debates, research them both, and make an informed decision
me: collective action based on common beliefs
me: clinton and obama have common beliefs
hillary_fan: i dont want to take collective action for someone im not sure will meet my needs
me: mccain lies far away from those beliefs
hillary_fan: i KNOW they do - practically identical - but he wont do anything
me: so you would rather have someone enacting policy you DISLIKE than someone who will at least try (and probably succeed with a democratic congress on his side) to enact policy you LIKE
hillary_fan: yes - but only because the person i dislike would also inevitably do some things i like
me: bonnie, you must see the fallacy in this
me: I see
hillary_fan: i see it this way - obama would do zero things in office, and mccain would do maybe 10 - 8 of which i would hate, but 2 of which i would like
hillary_fan: so that means mccain would do 2 more things that i like than obama would
hillary_fan: so whats the problem
...
me: I will guarantee you that there will be a bigger democratic majority in the next congress
me: and if thats the case
me: and somehow mccain gets elected with the help of clinton dem defectors
me: that will be the biggest political blunder in decades
me: DECADES //nay, centuries... reference the Whig's missed chance with the death of W.H. Harrison and subsequent Presidency of John Tyler
me: thats my story and i'm sticking to it
hillary_fan: well obviously the dems will take congress - but if mccain wins we KNOW he can be a bipartisan politician, and is, in fact, more moderate than obama, so whwats the problem
me: he was bipartisan... in 2000. he was a maverick... in 2000
me: he has become a right wing panderer in his quixotic quest for the republican nomination and the presidency
me: he doesn't make sense anymore
hillary_fan: in order to get the nomination, he had to. he'll inevitably center himself now
me: and is trying to be ronald reagan and failing
hillary_fan: thats the way he'll win - positioning himself as a moderate to obama's radical communist, or whatever
me: haha // for the record, thats a nervous laugh


This kind of thinking just won't do, Hillary fans out there. Yes, you were emotionally invested in a candidate you thought would be a great president. But she's out of the game now and you need to come to your senses and support the next best candidate for your personal political preferences. So unless you were one of those "Reagan Democrats" anyway, one that has been voting for Republicans since the 80s or whatever and would honestly prefer McCain's policies, get over it. Take your sour grapes, make some wine, and join the Obama camp because we're going to be partying when its January 20, 2009.

cristiano ronaldo

Last night, I had a dream that featured the Portuguese winger prominently. I am really conflicted about this dream for several reasons:

1) I've never really been a fan of his on-the-field shenanigans. By shenanigans I mean going to ground too easily and asking for a lot of calls/cards.

2) Does this portent mean he is coming to Real Madrid? I'm not too sure if thats a move the Blancos need to make...

3) Objectively viewed, he is a fairly attractive man. The fact that I had a dream about going to his house makes me ask myself some tough questions.

The dream itself wasn't too bizarre at all. For some reason, in my subconscious, Portugal looks a lot like southwest Florida and Cristiano's house looked like one that could be found right around the block from my parent's house. So I walked up to one of these houses, that I knew somehow was CR7's despite looking like any other on the block. I knock on the door and his girlfriend (Nereida Gallardo) answers and says hello like we are the oldest of friends. Cristiano comes out of the very modest kitchen (apparently in my dream he is a big fan of grilled cheese) into an even more modest livingroom (it featured a big leather recliner and a few of those green plastic lawn chairs) where we sat down and discussed Portugal's prospects for Euro 2008. I had to go before he started talking about a nagging groin injury (thankfully, before I really had to start questioning myself), but I politely thanked him for some of the grilled cheese and Nereida gave me a peck on the cheek before I walked out the door (needless to say I could have gone for a more Nereida-centered dream, sigh) and went about my business.

What does this all mean? I don't know. Maybe I am as unsettled by all this Ronaldo to Madrid talk as CR7 is... and the Guardian isn't helping at all.

dreamy... literally.

john mccain

If anyone else thinks John McCain sounds 110% like the old, lecturing, out of touch grandfather he is, please raise your hand.

God this guy sucks more than I ever realized. Keep relying on negativity, thats going to contrast well with the whole "hope" theme that your newly nominated rival is touting. And stop saying "thats not change we can believe in", fanculo!

You aren't Ronald Regan, so stop trying.

barack obama

He's done it folks... Mr. Obama tonight will secure the Presidential nomination of the Democratic Party. This is a pretty historic moment, and I know I will be glued to MSNBC to see how it all goes down. Its going to be a hell of a speech, I'm sure. If you are interested in reading an advance copy, Daily Kos has one here.

Exciting times.

moustache

Being bored at home can do some pretty weird things to you. As an example, I will provide the following cautionary tale.

While at home, figuring I had no one to impress and that my parents would love me either way, I decided to shave only the cheek and neck area, leaving the 'stache area and chin covered in what sparse hair covering my facial follicles could muster. What developed was the sketchiest, skeeviest facial hair this side of Charlotte (see picture below). While this stylistic choice was a victimless crime for a few days, it soon became apparent that venturing outside of my house and partaking in significant interactions with other people (especially people that would would like to respect you) did myself a great injustice.

The casual observer would not give the deformed goatee much notice, some offered stares that bordered on fascination, but two people that I would not wish to think me a complete clown definitely made concrete judgements on my character based on the presence of the poorly developed goatee-stache. They were:

1. Chris, the car salesman (see previous post). He must have thought: wow what a fool this kid is for growing this pitiful thing on his face. He must come from a family of such fools who will be easily duped into giving me large sums of money for a small, polite Japanese car. (This was not to be the case as Dad was set in not paying more than $400 over invoice, but the haggling probably took longer based on Chris' initial read of my facial signals).

2. Jimmy, my grand-uncle. Jimmy is an interesting character. He is a retired electrical engineer from Puerto Rico who enjoys building computers in his spare time when he isn't configuring his satellite to pick up more channels than he probably pays for. I guess retirement and getting older makes you more averse to the normal modes of paying for and getting goods or services (ref: early bird specials at restaurants). But I digress. When I came in to make the obligatory visit while in Florida, he saw me and immediately made a face one makes when tasting a paricularly curious new flavor or when trying to solve a complex puzzle. I guess in this instance the puzzle was why his previously reasonable grand-nephew was sporting this offense to the senses on his face. I think the graduation present took a hit because of it, lest his precious retirement money go to cover the cost of the drugs he must have thought I was one while shaving. (Not true, Jim, just really bored at home, sorry!)

Needless to say, I shaved later that day before making a trip over to Tyler's (I don't think the abomination would have gotten rave reviews there, either). I guess the grand lesson in all of this is to not attempt facial hair unless you can grow it sufficiently to some semblance of a style. I think I will funnel my latent creative energies into other, more productive ventures (you are reading one) while at home to prevent further damaging experimentation.

RIP, creeper stache, I hardly knew ye.


Clearly hasn't learned my lesson.

new car

This weekend I got a new car as a graduation present from my parents (thanks mom and dad!). Its a silver 2008 Civic EX Coupe (pictured below). It is a welcome change from my ant-dominated, gas-guzzling disaster of a Jetta (also pictured below). Benefits of this new car over the previous Brendan-mobile include improved gas mileage, better safety features, and fewer strange crayon odors. I would also hope that this polite, efficient Japanese machine will have better luck than the six-cylindered German brute in the sense that: 1) fewer trees will choose to fall on it, 2) as corollary, it will spring fewer flood-inducing leaks, 3) and ultimately be less of a shitshow of a auto. To be fair though, the Jetta wasn't all bad. It was a stylish ride for its first few months, and at one point it featured a fully functioning 10 CD changer, a sweet chrome grill... and floor mats!

But on to the new...

Getting the car was a bit of a show. Mom and I went over to the Honda dealership to check out what they had in stock and what kind of deals they were offering. We were greeted by a gentleman named Chris, a Jon Voight looking fellow who was eager to show us around. As he extolled the virtues of the Civic, I looked nervously at Mom, who was texting Dad to see if he was on his way to the dealership. 30 minutes into car searching and she was already tired of the rigamarole and calling into the bullpen to bring out the closer. A few minutes later, on comes goateed, sunglassed, tight t-shirt sporting Dad ready to make a deal. What ensued for the next hour and a half was the time-honored absurdity known as haggling. It went something like this:

Dad offers to pay x over invoice.
Chris counter-offers x+y (citing esoteric features and options included with the model)
Dad remains firm
Chris says he will "talk to his manager" to "see what he can do"
reapeat x 10.

I think by "talk to his manager" Chris meant "use a calculator to see how much his commission would be pinched by the price reduction". In any event, they finally agreed and I had a new car. I am now soliciting all for names for this beauty of a automobile, so let the suggestions fly.

new car needs a name?

goodbye jetta!