A single topic, possibly insane one at that!
So, things have been pretty boring as of late, in many respects. My sports teams are either in a holding pattern (Madrid), tanking (Giants), miserable (Rangers), and unwatchable (Knicks). Everyone has kind of settled out to predictability. Wonderful. Professionally, work is kind of meh, as kids are reluctant to come in to work on applications before December, when they will collectively have a shit fit as they realize that applications are due right after Christmas break ends. Womps there. Congress can't get a damn thing done with regard to anything good (Obama isn't getting much traction in getting judges appointed? Sixty vote majority, my ass.) Its all very rich right now. How to solve this? What would bring me, the country, and the WOLRD out of this morass?
Alien invasion.
Come again?
Yes, I could really go for an alien invasion right about now. Now I am not talking about Kang and Kodos style domination of the planet, really who wants to be a slave to some tentacled horrors? No, no, the kind of alien invasion I am talking about is the kind that you get to see in movies like Independence Day (am I continuing last week's pattern?), where the shit hits the fan for a while, lots of shit gets blown up, but in the end the aliens have some kind of hilarious weakness that allows us to pwn them with our puny, non-intergalactic technology. Alright, yes, I realize that is clearly a sub-optimal way of improving things in this country/world, but at the same time you can't deny the potential power of it.
1) Economic Problems Solved: with the expected loss of labor due to the devastation (sorry folks!), and the increased need for infrastructure repair (see previously linked picture), I see many of our economic problems taking care of themselves after the invasion/war. Everyone likes a good postwar boom time, so I say let the good times roll!
2) World Bands Together: surely nothing could bring us together more than having to collectively, as a planet, have to fend off an alien invader. Partisan attacks and political quibbles would be minimized in an ultimate test of planetary survival. That is, unless some rogue nation decides to cut a deal with the aliens in exchange for a lenient slavery policy. I am looking at you, North Korea!
3) Sweet New Technology: you thought your Android 2.0 based phone was cool? Think about the awesome technology we could cop if we harnessed all the good tidbits inside the alien ships (once of course we destroyed the aliens inside) and used them to our own ends. Cancer? Psht, these Klingon bitches figured that shit out millennia ago. Recycling? Look at this doodad they have here, it can turn these copies of Going Rogue into food for starving children. The payoff would be tremendous.
Really these are only the top 3 benefits to be gained by successfully fending off some kind of epic attack. There are definitely at least two more, and quite possibly four! I will let your imaginations run wild!
/ return to sanity next week, or sooner.
1 comment:
omg i miss you sepulveda! even though i don't usually have the bandwidth to jump from reader to blogger and comment, i love reading your posts and wish i could pop by for a visit!
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